


Moments (Larry Stylinson One Shot)

by Tabbynerdicat



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Eleanor Is A Beard, Harry Dies, Louis Dies, M/M, sort of suicide i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabbynerdicat/pseuds/Tabbynerdicat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sad Larry one shot I wrote while semi-high. In 2013. So yeah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments (Larry Stylinson One Shot)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kallie_larry_forever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kallie_larry_forever/gifts).



 

**Yeah, I wrote this in mid-2013 and it was like my first Larry story ever so it's probably shit but kallie_larry_forever liked it sooooooo (okay she's reading over my shoulder and claims she hated it) but she was crying and all that so it must have been really 'powerful'. Yeah but.... okay just read it imma shut up now.**

"Lou," I groaned, clenching the sides of the chair. "Not here," I grunted.

Louis kept nibbling at my neck, leaving a trail of love bites that I could only just with my collar.

"I know, but..." he sighed. His breath made the back of my neck prickle in anticipation.

"I've missed you," he .

"I've missed you too, Lou," I told him. "I missed you more than you could even to imagine, but not here. Wait until ,"

Louis frowned. "But I have to spend the entire day with Eleanor," he spat.

I . Eleanor really was a bitch, but she was the only one willing to take the . And we were grateful for that, but she was just a cow when the weren't around.

"I'd much rather spend the day with you," he told me.

I grinned. "I know, but we can still spend the night together. Eleanor's contract ends in a month- isn't that something to look forward to?"

Louis gave me a small smile, gently pressing his lips to mine. "I can't wait," he murmured.

I gave him permission to my mouth and the kiss got more heated. I felt his hair; smooth and soft and yet manly at the same time. He pushed me over on the couch and leaned on me, pressing our beating hearts together and slowly pulling us apart.

"We can't, Lou. We're going out," I told him.

"I know, but... I just wish they'd us for who we were," he sighed, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Just give them time, Lou," I told him.

He smiled at me. "I love you, Haz,"

"I love you too," I told him.

"BOYS!"

Liam pounded on the door, making us jump apart. The other boys didn't know about us yet. We just weren't sure how they'd react.

"Get off your high horse, we're coming!" Louis yelled.

Footsteps led away from the door and he sighed. "We need to tell them,"

"I know," I groaned.

"Harry, it's been two years. They ..."

"Baby , Lou," I told him, kissing his cheek and standing up. "Baby ,"

He smiled at me, before opening the door to-

"What were you guys DOING in there?" Elebitch hissed. "I have a to maintain!"

"Well EXCUSE ME!" I said. I gave Louis one last longing look, before slamming the door to my changing room.

**_Shut the door_ **

**_Turn the light off..._ **

I could hear them arguing outside. Eleanor was screaming insults at Louis, who was defending both himself and me. It was a wonder that the other guys never heard these arguments. They thought 'Elounor' was going strong as ever. In a way it kind of was. We still hated her guts, and she still wanted to mount our heads on a pike. Yep, same old shh every day, to quote our song. I know it's a bit selfish, but I need Elebitch out of our lives. She's ruining everything, instead of helping. The fans have noticed a change in Elounor's relationship. They're predicting the breakup already. We don't give them enough credit. They aren't as dumb as most think.

I sighed as Louis muttered something and the sounds faded with the clopping of footsteps on the tiled floors.

**_I wanna be with you_ **

**_I wanna feel your love..._ **

I slipped on my clothes half-heartedly and walked out. I must have seemed sadder than usual, because Niall gave me a huge hug.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I stared at the ground. "You... you wouldn't understand,"

Niall made me look up. "I know that, but it doesn't mean you can't tell me,"

"Just... a in a fake relationship and we've both had enough. He's gonna dump her soon, and then I'll be better. I just can't wait until she's out of our lives," I told him.

"Who is it?" Niall asked.

I shook my head. "I can't say, Ni. Sorry,"

Niall smiled sympathetically and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "I'm here for you. The guys are too,"

I smiled at him. "Yeah, I know. I don't know what I would do without you guys,"

We all walked out and into the hallway, where Louis and Elebitch were pretending to be lovey-dovey. They were lying on a couch and playing with each other's hair, sort of. Louis was giving it away with his bored expression that he did not want to be there.

**_I wanna lay beside you_ **

**_I cannot hide this_ **

**_Even though I try..._ **

"Hey Lou- what's going on here?" I asked suggestively. He grinned at me, which I interpreted as a scowl in our secret 'Elebitch' language.

"What the hell's it look like?" he asked, getting up with a 'blushing' Eleanor. One thing I have to hand to her is that she's good at staging emotions. That's probably how she's so successful in her work. Right now she was probably thinking of how much she was going to get at the end of this. I think she'll be just as happy as we are when the contract is up. February 22nd 2014- the day everything will be good again.

**_harder_ **

**_Time escapes me..._ **

"If you're quite done here, Lou, we have to go," Zayn said, fixing his hair as he walked.

"Are you okay?" Niall asked, not letting me go.

"I'll be fine," I said, feeling strangled as Eleanor and Louis 'kissed' for 'good luck'. I saw her knee him in the shins as she drew back and heard him wince slightly. No-one else heard a thing. I took a deep breath and forced myself not to run to him. Niall squeezed my hand reassuringly and I smiled. I was glad I still had support.

**_Trembling hands touch skin_ **

**_It makes this harder..._ **

We got ready to walk out and into the crowd waiting for us. Zayn added some last-minute touches to his hair, while Louis bade Elebitch farewell. Niall was trying to make me happy, and Liam was smoothing out the creases in his shirt.

I blinked back tears as Louis and I locked eyes; the sadness showed clear as black and white on his face and tears on the brim of his eyes, making it harder for me to restrain.

**_And the tears stream down my face..._ **

"Let's go," Liam said and the doors opened. I took one last glance at Louis before we were overcome with cameras.

**_If we could only have this life_ **

**_For one more day..._ **

I put on a smile and walked out among the fans, trying to remember what it was like back when we were nobodies. We could go places without worry, and we could date whom we wanted. If only it were still the case...

**_If we could only turn back time..._ **

The fans jostled us as we walked past them, trying to touch us. On the outside, I didn't really care, but on the inside I was uncomfortable. Only Louis could touch me. Nobody else...

**_You know I'll be_ **

**_Your life_ **

**_Your voice_ **

**_Your reason to be..._ **

We somehow got separated from each other- all of us. I had Niall, while Liam had Paul and Louis had Zayn. Louis was so far away now- I could only just see his hair from here. He had disappeared into the crowd of girls.

"I feel vulnerable," I told Niall, who chuckled, leading me in the general direction of my lover.

"Let's buddy with Lou and Zayn then," he told me as we stumbled through the crowd.

**_My love_ **

**_My heart_ **

**_Is breathing for this..._ **

We were getting closer to them now. They'd noticed us, along with Liam. We were trying to draw together again. I nearly tripped over and Niall helped me up. My eyes scanned the crowd for Louis. I saw Zayn's unmistakable quiff dive down and worry spread through my veins. I was extremely overprotective of my boyfriend. I quickened my pace.

**_Moment..._ **

The fans were clearing away from the area which added onto my nerves. My heart was pumping with adrenaline as Niall and I soared through the crowd.

**_In time..._ **

I saw Louis and raised my hand to my mouth instinctively. He had fallen and was bleeding from his head and arms. He was already looking pale and weak. I dropped to the ground beside him, ignoring the protests of the medics.

**_I'll find the words to say..._ **

"Lou, speak to me," I demanded.

Louis' mouth moved but no words came out. He was going limp and his eyes were closing. He still had a pulse, but it was weakening quickly. The blood was everywhere. I gripped his hand tightly as he tried to form words.

"Be... fine..." he said.

I closed my eyes and held him close, the beating of his heart slowing as the seconds passed.

**_Before you leave me today...  
  
_ **

**_Close the door_ **

**_Throw the key..._ **

I woke up in a hospital- that was obvious. There was pain all through my body and I couldn't move. My head hurt worse than anything I ever imagined and I tried to focus on the shape in front of me.

"H... Hazza..." I croaked. My tongue wasn't functioning properly. I couldn't think straight. I felt unwell, VERY unwell.

I felt the grip on my left hand tighten as Harry woke up.

"Lou! Lou are you okay?" he asked frantically. If I wasn't so sure I was sick, I would've laughed. Instead I tried to speak and coughed. Warm crimson liquid ran down my chin and Harry dabbed at it with a bloodstained cloth. I was suddenly scared. This is what happened to cancer patients and people with life threatening injuries. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to leave Harry.

"What happened?" I managed.

**_Don't wanna be reminded_ **

**_Don't wanna be seen..._ **

"You fell, Lou," Harry told me. He wiped a tear from his eye and took a shaky breath. "You... you nearly died."

My heart sank. "I... I nearly... died?"

Harry nodded, the tear marks visible on his cheeks. He'd been crying over me.

The grip on his hand tightened as tears ran down my own face. I don't know what the tears were. Joy, happiness, sadness, relief, horror... they were tears, and it didn't feel good.

"-going to make it, I'm afraid,"

"But he's Louis Tomlinson! Listen, I have given my life to these boys and I demand you save him!"

"There's nothing we can do, Mr Cowell. There are many regrets-"

The sounds faded from the door and even more tears streamed from my eyes. Harry bent over me, his hair dangling down and tickling my forehead. His eyes were rimmed red.

**_Don't wanna be without you_ **

**_My judgment's clouded_ **

**_Like tonight's sky..._ **

"So... so that's it then?" I asked.

It was all too much for Harry. He burst out in sobs, crying into my chest and holding me close for comfort. I held onto him as hard as I could. I already felt weaker... but death?

"Louis, you need to hold on! Please hold on... please... for me..." he said, rocking backwards and forwards and holding my hand in his lap.

The heart monitor beeped beside us, its sound loud and depressing. I took a deep breath and it returned to normal, but I couldn't keep it up for long. Deep down, I knew this was my last day on planet Earth. My last day with Harry, and my last day... in general.

But there were so many things I still wanted to do. I still wanted to have the satisfaction of dumping Eleanor. I still needed to tell the guys how much I loved them and cared for them, especially before my own death. I still wanted to become a football star, and I still wanted to see the world. I still wanted to grow old with Harry- marry him, adopt kids, do all of that stuff. I wanted to show the world that it was okay for two people to love one another, no matter what their gender. I needed Harry. But I couldn't take him with me... and I couldn't rip him from his own life...

**_Hands are silent..._ **

"Harry... I feel it," I told him, "I'm not going to make it," I whispered.

Harry's lips crashed down on mine in an attempt to make me change my mind. It wasn't my decision...

**_Voice is numb..._ **

"Haz... this isn't a Disney love story that will heal when we kiss... this is real..." I told him.

Harry's tears mixed with my own as they dripped mercilessly.

"I know... but you can't go... you can't..." he denied.

I opened my mouth to say something but my head throbbed and I hissed in pain. My throat was constricting and my feet and hands were going numb. They weren't getting enough life. I tried to breathe some more, but I had minutes. Moments... moments in time... like our song...

**_Try to scream out my lungs_ **

**_It makes this harder..._ **

"Lou... Lou, wake up!" Harry said frantically, pumping my blood around my body by pushing my chest. My eyelids opened a fraction. I hadn't realized I was closing them.

"Harry... it's time..." I croaked. With the last of my breath, I whispered 'I love you' and watched helplessly as the blurriness overtook Harry's sobbing. The piercing noise of the flat-line was fading. The line that repeated in my brain was one that I sang... one that I had sung many times before.

**_And the tears stream down my face..._ **

Only now did it hold true meaning. I didn't know anything, anything but that one line...

Louis' hand went limp in mine. That's when I knew. That's when it all hit me.

He was never coming back.

I would never feel his lips on mine again. I would never look into his eyes and watch them light up at the sight of me. I would never wake up to a call from Louis or to the sound of his voice ever again. Ever...

I buried my face in his now still chest. It wasn't fair. Louis didn't deserve this. He deserved to live a long and happy life. If either of us deserved this, it was probably me. But not Louis... never Louis...

I didn't look up when the door opened. I didn't flinch when Liam's hand touched my shoulder. I didn't react to the long, hollow sobs that came from the other members of the band. What was once One Direction would never be the same without Louis. We couldn't possibly continue without him...

"Harry... are, are you alright?" Niall asked cautiously.

I didn't react yet again. I probably looked dead myself. I might have been if not for my loud heartbeat and shaky breaths. I was completely still. I couldn't move.

"Niall, he's obviously not," Zayn said between tears.

"Haz... I know he was your best friend, but-"

"I loved him," I cut Liam off. My voice was cracked and broken, and my voice box didn't seem to want to work. "I loved him, and he left..."

There was silence as the others tried to comprehend my words. I blinked a few tears from my eyes and they landed on Louis' cold, dead hand.

**_If we could only have this life_ **

**_For one more day..._ **

"He was like a brother to you," Zayn decided.

I moved for the first time in hours. I shook my head.

"No... more than that..."

**_If we could only turn back time..._ **

"You mean...?" Niall asked.

I nodded, breaking out into a fresh wave of sobs. I gripped Louis' pale hand in mine until it turned purple, but I still didn't care. He was gone. He was gone forever...

"Did he... did he love you back?" Niall continued.

I nodded once again, my eyes sweeping over Louis. The hospital gown did nothing for him. His tattoos were clear against his pale skin and the remnants of blood stains showed around his mouth. His eyes were still open, staring blankly at the ceiling. I reached over and closed them, my hands sliding to where his heart would be. His real heart- not some stupid organ that pumped blood. His soul, his being, his love. But that wasn't there anymore. It was gone with him.

"I'm sorry," I told the other guys. "I'm sorry we lied to you,"

Niall sat beside me and reached to hug me. I let him, but I didn't return the hug. I didn't feel capable of love yet. Not after my heart was torn in half. And then in half again.

"Two years," I sniffed.

"But that's how long El and... wait, where is El?" Liam asked.

I glared at the ground. "She doesn't care about him, Liam. She's probably running off with her money to date another gay celebrity," I spat.

They seemed to be getting the gist of it now.

"You hired her?" Niall asked.

I blinked back a few more tears. "I- I'm sorry guys... I just... I can't..."

I shook my head, standing up and knocking my chair to the ground. I stormed out of the door, knocking over nurses and random people on my way outside.

"Harry-!"

I ignored Simon's call and opened the door to the garden. There was nobody else here. It was just me and the trees.

I let it all out. I didn't care who heard me or what they thought. Louis was gone, okay? He was gone. He would never return, and it's only a matter of time before he's forgotten. But I'll never forget him. I loved him, and I always will, no matter what.

A week later I was getting ready for the funeral. HIS funeral. I was going to tell them everything. Everything we had tried to uncover, but had kept shrouded. Everything about Eleanor. Everything about us. Everything about, well, everything.

I barely spoke to anyone as we were driven to the funeral site. He was being buried in Doncaster with his family. I dreaded seeing their faces. I dreaded everything these days. Louis was no longer there to invite me into his arms when I was having a bad day. He wasn't there to hug and he wasn't there to tell me it was all going to be fine. My mother and sister tried... they tried so hard and they couldn't figure out why I was so distant from them. I felt bad. I felt like I was keeping too many secrets. And so, I had to let it all out.

I walked up to the podium and looked at Louis. He wasn't dressed as formally as most people would be. He was wearing his clothes from the Midnight Memories video, in fact. I gave him a small smile- the first smile I'd cracked in weeks. He could be sleeping. Like he did that time on the set. His eyes were closed and his mouth was stretched into a slight smile. He looked peaceful.

**_You know I'll be_ **

**_Your life..._ **

I wish he was still here. I wish it was someone else's funeral I had to endure, with him at my side.

I realized I was still staring and shuffled my cards. My blank cards, which held no purpose whatsoever except to distract me.

I struggled to find words as I looked at the depressed faces in the audience.

"First... I would say that this isn't fair. It isn't fair at all. Louis didn't deserve this, and none of us deserved to lose him,"

I drew a shaky breath and continued, "He wouldn't want us to be sad. But... but we can't help it. You can't have someone like Louis taken from you without being sad,"

My heart was in my throat and I was finding it hard to speak. "Louis and I... we were best friends. Right from the beginning, we were closer than close. But then there was something more..."

I couldn't stop now. I looked to the sky, praying for Louis' help. It was stupid, but it helped.

**_Your voice..._ **

"I fell in love," I blurted out, the pressure being too much for me. With every secret I told I felt lighter. "I fell in love with him. And he..."

I looked down. "He fell in love with me,"

The audience remained silent, but out of shock, I think. It was difficult to tell, especially with my emotions jumping around inside me.

"We started dating," I told them, "It was all a secret. We didn't want to be looked down on. We didn't want to ruin it for everyone. After a few weeks, we hired someone to cover for us. Eleanor Calder was her name. We didn't like her,"

My heart was pained when I mentioned the relationship. Especially Eleanor.

"We were counting down the days until her contract was over. We were going to tell everyone," I choked. "We were going to tell everyone everything as soon as it was over. On February... February 22nd."

People whispered and murmured in understanding. Louis' big announcement on the 22nd... that was the coming out of Larry, just like the fans predicted.

I sniffed and the microphone magnified it so that everyone heard.

"I will always love Louis," I said. "He will always be the only one I ever truly felt for. No matter what anyone says or does, I will always love him,"

The words echoed around and I could have sworn I heard Louis chuckle. But given the circumstances...

"Just remember... remember him. Remember that you can love whoever you want. Remember to live the good life before... before anything happens. Don't make the mistakes we did. To Louis' family... I'm sorry we never told you. Mum, Gemma, I guess I was too afraid. Guys... you've only known for a week, but you took it pretty well,"

I watched the other three wipe their eyes while looking around.

**_Your reason to be..._ **

"I feel like my heart beats for him now," I said. "I feel like everything I do... I do for him. And I hope that Louis will remain in your hearts... forever. Thank you..." I trailed off, sitting next to Niall as he comforted me.  
  


Management is cruel... so cruel. A concert merely two weeks after his death? We couldn't do that. But we had to.

Louis' parts were distributed among us evenly, but it just wouldn't be the same without him. Our voices were completely different to his. It wouldn't fit right. It just wouldn't.

Thinking of Louis was painful. Which meant thinking of everything was painful. Thinking of that one time that we laughed about women in yogurt commercials. Thinking of his love for football. Thinking of when he would eat all the carrots. Thinking of his horrible dancing skills. I could relate anything to Louis.

And that wasn't working out so well for me.

**_My love..._ **

I was pacing now. Just watching as the other guys got dressed and practiced. I wasn't even bothering to test my voice. I knew it would be crap. No matter what I did. My voice usually reflected my emotions... and the rest is self-explanatory.

"Harry, you need to calm down," Zayn told me.

I shook my head. "I can't,"

"Do it for the fans," Liam suggested.

I closed my eyes.

"Do it for us," Niall added.

I blocked them out as best I could, but it still came.

"Do it for Louis,"

I couldn't stop the waterworks pouring from my eyes. They just had to mention Louis.

"Now look what you've done!" Niall reprimanded Liam.

**_My heart..._ **

I was weak at the knees and feeling woozy. My brain was shutting down but my body was wired.

"Harry mate..." Zayn said, helping me to a chair and giving me a glass of water.

"Thanks," I murmured, taking grateful sips. My eyes stung, but I soon focused on my surroundings again. This happened whenever someone mentioned him. I began to shut down, as if my heart was willing to stop so that I could be with him. It usually only took water, but I nearly had to have CPR last time. I think the fact that only Louis could press his mouth to mine shocked me awake.

"Better?" Niall asked.

I nodded feebly, drawing my legs up to my chest and burying my head.

"I'm sorry," Liam apologized.

I nodded to him. I couldn't speak.

"You don't want to go out there, do you?" Niall asked.

I shook my head.

**_Is breathing for this..._ **

They called us and all too soon, we had to go on stage. There was no hiding my red eyes, so they let me go on with them. But the first thing that I saw when I walked out...

**_Moment..._ **

The fans... the posters... Louis...

**_In time..._ **

I felt myself collapsing again and I hit the hard ground of the stage. I tried weakly to stand up, but everything was too familiar. Louis was everywhere, and it was killing me.

**_I'll find the words to say..._ **

The other guys rushed to help me but I felt like I had a knife through my heart. There was no sound. There was only the pain... the terrible pain that was heartache.

**_Before you leave me today..._ **

**_Flashing lights in my mind..._ **

White light. Searing white light that burned my eyes. It was like poisonous fog. It stung me everywhere and choked me. It consumed me so that I couldn't do anything. This was a nightmare. And it wasn't like anything I'd ever had before.

**_Going back to the time..._ **

Just when I was about to pass out from exhaustion, I was in a new place. It was an open field, under a twinkling night sky. It was beautiful.

"Harry,"

No... no way... he couldn't be...

"No... stop! I need to stop this!" I yelled. My voice echoed around the empty space.

"Don't you love me anymore?"

Those words broke me right there.

"Lou... how could you even doubt that?" I whispered, feeling betrayed.

I felt a hand clamp my shoulder and choked back a sob.

"Louis..."

He turned me around so that I could see him. He was dressed in the same clothes he wore at the funeral- the Midnight Memories clothes. His hair was perfect, as always, and he had the slightest amount of stubble, like before. Exactly like the last time I saw him.

I had to grab myself to stop from embracing the fake Louis. He really was just fake. This wasn't real. Unless this was my afterlife... did I die on stage?

"You aren't dead," Louis told me.

"Then what is this?" I demanded, gesturing to him. "You're dead!"

I pained me to say it, but he was. Louis took a step back and I immediately softened.

**_Playing games in the street..._ **

"Louis..." I whispered, crushing him in a hug. It FELT real. He was warm and living, even though I had watched his body turn to ashes. I could feel the dent in his back from hitting the pole that time and I could hear his heart pumping with mine. I was almost convinced. But...

"Harry... I know this isn't what we hoped, but..." Louis trailed off.

"How are you even here? You... you're dead," I told him.

Louis gripped my hand. "I will always live on in you,"

"So I'm imagining this?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I guess so, but doesn't it make you feel better?"

"A little..." I admitted. "Lou... I told everyone,"

Louis looked up. He grinned like he did the last time he whipped me in football.

**_Kicking balls with my feet..._ **

"What did they do?"

And so I launched into a recount of everything that's ever happened since he left. He just sat there patiently, listening as I raved on about the funeral, the band, our families, the fans...

"Harry," Louis said at the end. It was starting to get light. "Haz, you need to wake up,"

I shook my head defiantly. "I want to stay with you,"

"You can't... I'm not really here, remember?" he said sadly.

The world around us was dissolving. Turning into a jumble of colours.

**_There's a numb in my toes_ **

**_Standing close to the edge..._ **

"Louis-" I stopped. Louis blurred and vanished before my eyes. My depression came back and I clamped my hands over my ears. There was a ringing in my head, a ringing that wouldn't go away.

**_There's a pile of my clothes_ **

**_At the end of your bed..._ **

It sounded like an earthquake now, or what I imagined one would sound like. My dream was falling apart, and the white fog was coming back. The ground fell from beneath me and I was floating on the fog. Floating away into consciousness never seemed so unappealing in my life.

**_As I feel myself fall_ **

**_Make a joke of it all..._ **

**_You know I'll be..._ **

I opened my eyes, focusing on three faces leaning over me. I identified Niall's scent- the stench of Nando's. Zayn was there- I could smell his hair product. Liam had that dusty kind of smell, you know? He was there too. And Louis... wait, why do I...?

**_Your life..._ **

I looked down and saw that I was covered in Louis' jacket. I had apparently been holding onto it as there were creases everywhere.

**_Your voice..._ **

I inhaled Louis' scent again and sighed.

"He's awake!" Niall nearly yelled, but stopped himself just in time.

**_Your reason to be..._ **

"What happened?" I asked groggily. I tried to move but Liam pushed me down.

"Don't try,"

I frowned at him. "Wha...?"

I lifted Louis' jacket and tried to move my legs. Nothing.

"What?" I asked.

Something beeped and Niall pushed me back down, pushing a couple of buttons. I felt a tingling in my arms and looked... only to find that there were several wires attached to me.

"What... what's going on?" I asked.

Liam bit his lip while Zayn explained.

"You hit some pretty important nerves when you fell, Haz," he said. "You... you had a heart attack..."

I was silent. I... but... what?

"And when you fell, you hit an important part of your spine..." Liam continued.

"You're a paraplegic," Niall said bluntly.

I gaped at them in shock. "WHAT?"

The machine started to beep faster and they panicked. I felt more fluid rushed into me and fell backwards slightly.

"Don't strain yourself," Zayn said, "You're in a critical condition, mate,"

"We don't want to lose you like... him," Niall said.

A tear made its way down my cheek as I remembered Louis. It seemed that I couldn't live without him. But I couldn't bring myself to... you know, suicide.

**_My love..._ **

"But I can't walk now..." I said, only just now comprehending it.

The others all bit their lips, staring anywhere but at me.

**_My heart..._ **

"I lost Louis. I lost my ability to feel happiness. I lost the ability to sing, and now I can't walk?" I demanded. The machine blipped and I sighed, calming down.

"You have us," Liam said, putting a hand on my arm. Niall quickly pulled it away when I began to weep again. That was Louis' tattoo he touched, and it tingled as I drowned in my feelings.

**_Is breathing for this..._ **

"You have your mum, Gemma, the fans, everyone. There are people who support you," Zayn told me.

I opened my mouth to speak and I couldn't find the words. I closed my mouth and stared at the end of the bed. I could just see some text that told me I was in a critical condition. Like, I could die at any moment. Thinking about it, it wouldn't seem so bad.

**_Moment..._ **

"Don't even think about it," Liam said.

I looked up at him. "It's the best option," I argued.

"Harry- I know we weren't as close to Louis as you were but his death hit us harder than you think," Zayn said, tears forming in his eyes.

**_In time..._ **

"We don't want to lose you as well," Liam said.

I closed my eyes. "Guys... I know it isn't true, but I feel like I have no reason to live anymore. Louis is gone. My job is gone. I can't walk and I'm publicly gay. Don't you think that's a little bit depressing?" I asked. My heart was in my throat again when I mentioned Louis.

"You aren't-"

"Liam, stop," Niall interrupted.

**_I'll find the words to say..._ **

"Niall- he's going to kill himself, do you want that?" Zayn asked.

Niall shook his head. "I want him to be happy,"

I reached up and grabbed Niall's hand, a smile tugging at my lips for the first time in weeks. "I'm sorry Niall," I told him.

Niall let some tears fall from his eyes as he faced the other boys.

"He wants to be with Louis, can't you see that?" he asked. "Zayn- what if Perrie died and this happened to you? You would want to die to be with her too,"

Zayn bit his lip and stared at the ground.

"I don't want to die... but I don't want to live either..." I whispered.

I made my decision. It was now or never.

**_Before you leave me today..._ **

I ripped the wires from my arms, watching the deep red liquid run down my skin and feeling my heart pump faster.

**_You know I'll be..._ **

Liam and Zayn tried at the last minute to reattach the wires, but it was already too late. I was in a critical condition, after all. I had merely seconds to live.

**_Your life..._ **

"Hazza... why did you do this?" I heard a familiar voice ask. My eyes widened- Louis. I was still in the hospital room and still bleeding to death, but I saw him. He was transparent, but getting stronger by the second.

**_Your voice..._ **

"Lou..." I muttered, watching him solidify slightly.

Louis rushed forward and tried to stick the wires back, forgetting he was dead. He passed right through them but not me. He could touch me.

"This is bad..." he muttered.

**_Your reason to be..._ **

"Why is it bad, Lou?" I asked. Louis was radiating a blinding light as he solidified. It was burning my eyes, but I couldn't look away.

"Harry, what do you see?" I heard Niall's voice.

I smiled lazily. "I see a light... Louis..."

**_My love..._ **

"Harry, why did you do this to yourself?" Louis asked me, transparent tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't live without you... it was too much..." I said. With every breath I took, the world dissolved around me and Louis got stronger.

**_My heart..._ **

Louis gripped my hand tightly as the world vanished around us.

**_Is breathing for this..._ **

Everything was gone now except for Louis. We were floating in a white space, just the two of us. I looked down and saw that my arms weren't red anymore. I was clean, and I was wearing my normal clothes again.

**_Moment..._ **

"Lou... it's really you?" I asked.

"It's really me, Haz," he grinned at me.

I couldn't stop myself from darting forward and landing a soft kiss on his lips. He was really here... it worked...

**_In time..._ **

"I love you, Harry," he told me when we broke apart.

**_I'll find the words to say..._ **

"I love you too. Forever..." I told him.

**_Before you leave me today..._ **


End file.
